That it Happened at All

It has been two months since my last post. I re-read what I intended to post shortly after the previous one. It was entitled "Where I Am". I have decided to not post it, because it is a sin to lie. I am no longer in the same spot I was two months ago. I guess that is a good thing.

Remember Into the Woods? Yeah, me too. Auditions came and went, but not without tears and vomit and screams and intense memorizing sessions and belting and all of those lovely things that come with stressful auditions. I got the part(: 

For 8+ weeks of my life, I was Cinderella. I lived with a Father who helped me with the simplest things, a Stepmother that always made me smile, and two Stepsisters that couldn't have been more different from one another, but treated everyone the same. Even though my Mother was dead, she still spoke to me, encouraging me to be good. My neighbors were the best; a Baker and his Wife who were a living example of humility, a sad, young lad (we actually became good friends, even though his mother was filled with "drama"), a little girl with a red cape who was never afraid of anything (she learned that from her Granny), and a Witch that opened my eyes to the truth of the world, taught me that it is okay to do what you want, and showed me that you get what you give. I found my Prince... and his brother... and their Steward. They gave me hope for my future, that I really can live the dream I wish, and that its okay to goof off every now and then.  There was a Mysterious Man. I never encountered him, but his presence was comforting. My fellow princess, Rapunzel came along at just the right time. How grateful I am for her company.

...oh. Wait. 

That was me. 

I guess you could say I learned something from everyone in the cast. I can only hope I, somehow, impacted them as they did me. 

The show itself taught me so much. There is something for everyone to come away with. But that's another post. 

I miss them. I miss them all, but instead of wishing it wasn't over, God has taught me to be grateful that it happened at all(:

Where I Was

I had the same best friend for twelve years straight. It was truly the most beautiful relationship I have ever had. She taught me how to laugh, have fun, not care about what others think, and how to be original. All I can say is thank you Bibbet. I always will love you.. And never any less. 

I was even more selfish than I am now. I know, I know it's hard to believe that I ever wanted more attention and was more self-centred than I am now. But it's the truth. 

I was once at in a state where I thought I didn't have any friends. Let me tell you, I was wrong then, and I would be wrong now, because I definitely have the best friends in the universe (sorry, your's aren't the best, mine are #fact). 

I hated pretty much everything about my life because I was a control freak. But mostly I didn't like being homeschooled. 

There was an extremely melodramatic ridiculous ordeal that went on for months (and when I say months I mean years)  involving He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. No, not Voldemort. A guy. Honestly, I was a downright pain to him, and he was an utter douche bag to me. Also, I was young. That may or may not have had anything to do with the birth of the problem and the prolonging of the situtation.     

So, as you can see, I used to be really messed up. Emphasis on the 'used' and 'really'. Not going to go into anymore gory details, but it was bad. Like Skins bad. But God is gracious. And forgiving. And everything I could ever want or ever need. Now I am His. And I didn't have to clean up to be washed in the blood of Jesus. I came as I was, and was redeemed by His sacrifice. Now I am still messed up, to an extent. Nobody is perfect. But thats not an excuse. 

For Understanding

I could give all the reasons why I haven't blogged in a while, or even make up a few. But I won't because I am back for now. 

The last posts have been about what is going on in my life/realizations etc. I hardly think that the "About Me" column is enough for you to know who I am. I feel like that is important, so I hereby dedicate the next few posts to me. Haha. 

*refrains from singing "This is Me" from Camp Rock* 


*...refrains...*

Life is What You Make It

We've all heard it before. "The bad days are what make the good days good," or something of that sort. I have said The Goblet, is The Goblet of Drama. But, recently I have discovered that life is what you make it. Drama is there if you encourage it. Depression is there if you nurse it. Happiness is there if you embrace it. The Goblet is still existent in my life, but not in the ways it was a week and a half ago.

School: In my last post referring to school, it wasn't exactly... dramatic. I was being dramatic, but the situation was not. I was just under a lot of pressure. Fortunately, I only have two classes to finish (one of which I have yet to begin), so I am not under as much of a time-crunching schedule as I was before. So... yay!

Relationships: I realized how selfish I was being. I was being so selfish of my friends who are graduating. I realized this after I read my friend's post "The Trio" on his blog (check it out). He said, "This is bittersweet. The sweet part: They are done with childhood, leaving the nest, and moving on to bigger things and different people. The bitter part: They are done with childhood, leaving the nest, and moving on to bigger things and different people." #wisesayingsbymatthew. I really love my friends. Really. So I am happy for them and the new adventures they will tackle on their own, collectively, and with me. Truly. As for "this guy"... well... Things haven't come to a great resolution just yet, but a genuine, beautiful friendship that can last a very long time has. And that's something to be happy about.

Future Occupations: So the whole Into the Woods thing is a ways away... and, honestly, to handle this in the most godly way possible is to just do my absolute best for God, and let Him take care of it. I have just realized I am okay with whatever way He chooses to take me. I am just excited about being a part of it. As for my summer plans... I am a part of the Mississippi Baptist All State Youth Choir and Orchestra (from here on out called MBASYC&O or All State) and we tour the south every summer for a week or so. I have been sooooooo so SO blessed in the last year with the friends I have made through the choir and their positive impact and example everyone leaves for me. This year's tour is in 11 days. :D *finger twirl* Then, the day after MBASYC&O tour is over, StudentLIFE camp starts! I was so distracted by things way ahead of me I couldn't see the things right in front of my face! #cliche. I was worried about Into the Woods, the Broadway Jr. camp, and my friends moving that All State and StudentLIFE camp sneaked up on me! I guess that is a good thing too. Also, I got a job! So my summer won't be as uneventful as I thought because I will be busy. Plus I will be bringing in some moneyyy... Another good thing.

Maybe The Goblet isn't The Goblet of Drama after all... It might be disguised as unpleasant, unnecessary drama at first, but whoever drinks from it usually learns something. Whether it is to appreciate the simplicity in life, the happy things, the best friends, your blessings, or the good days. Maybe it is just The Goblet of Realization.

The Goblet

In my circle of friends, we have, what we call, a Goblet of Drama. It is passed around from person to person, and sometimes shared. When one is drinking from The Goblet, there is (unnecessary) drama going on in our lives. As a theatre kid, drama is usually a very mild understatement, since our lives are nothing but (non-scandalous, of course) dramatic.

I have not drank from The Goblet in a while now, but today I finally picked it up. "Picked" is a bad word to use because it sounds like it was a choice. Let's say it was "officially thrusted upon me". When one drinks from The Goblet, there is usually drama in more than one area of his/her life. So it was "officially thrusted upon me" today in the areas of school, relationships, future occupations. Let me elaborate. *clears throat* Ahem. 

School: I am only a sophomore and senioritis has already kicked in. I have a lot of school to do before I can let out for summer break. With all my friends out already, and it being 90 degrees outside, that only makes it more agonizing. I basically have a college semester's worth of work to do in *glances at calendar* three weeks. 

Relationships: With it being the end of the school year, I have friends leaving for college. This happens every year, but this year is the toughest by far. These aren't just friends leaving. These are by very best friends. They are moving 2+ hours away. I don't have many friends at my school. So come August, I will *literally* have two friends. And that's being generous. One is going to be coming to my school (yay!) and one I am already extremely close to, so maybe that will work out. So here I am, savoring these last few months I have with my very best friends, striving to make new ones, and maintaining the relationships I already have. Oh, and there's this guy. *sigh*. And by "this guy" I mean feelings I made up in my mind towards this guy to distract me from feeling lonely. Icing on the cake. 

Future occupations: This is an extremely loose term for theatre drama. My (current) "future occupation" is theatre (until God let's me know He has changed it).  There is an upcoming production of Sondheim's Into The Woods, and I kiiinda know the director personally *coughheismytheatrecoachcough*so I will be involved in the show somehow, I just really really really really really want to be cast instead of stage crew. So now I have an attachment to a few of the roles, and... Well let's just say there is a lot of competition and it's getting personal. It's like High School Musical, basically. It's tough. It's tough to handle it in a godly way, and to still do my best and be fair. Also, I just found out that a Broadway summer theatre camp I have been working hard to complete my mother's prerequisites for, is now full. And I would have to pay the full $450 to just be on the waiting list... So there goes my summer plans. Super disappointment. 

Plus I am really struggling to understand how God thinks I am perfect for this life.

*takes one huge gulp from The Goblet* 

Welcome to the happy, perfect, coherent life of Allison. Cheers. 

A Day at a Time

Have you ever had a really good idea? You have this great endpoint worth achieving. But you have no clue how to get there or where to start.
That's how I feel about blogging. I have a goal I want to achieve, but I don't know where to begin. How does one go about their first blog? Do they jump in with an intelligent topic, or just ramble on (like I am now)?

I *obviously* do not know how to blog. Perhaps some context is necessary. Like any story, goal, or idea, there is a beginning. Since I do not have one for my blog-goal, let me start with mine.

Hi. I am Allison. I...

Okay, maybe that is not what I need.  How about I start with my goal?

I want to be an encouragement. I want to be an encouragement to teens struggling with the things of this world and generation. I want to stand with fellow believers around the world who are sold out for Jesus Christ and what He has done in their life as well as mine. I want to be hope for humanity that not everyone in the world wants to hurt one another. I want to be a loving reminder to those who are fixed on the reality of the darkness of this world that there loving people who are on The Winning Side. I want to be a wake up call to the people who think that everything is going to be happy and lovey-dovey and easy in life. I want to be there for the person who thinks they are alone when they are not.

See what I mean about no where to start?

I am theatre-kid who is involved in several productions a season. My current role is Girl in Check, Please Take II presented by Crosswise Drama Troupe this weekend. Near the end I have a line that says, "Why don't we just start over... as friends... and just take it a day at a time?" I will have to take this extremely large goal "a day at a time" and go from there. That is all I can do. But even if I do not accomplish all parts of this goal, if I can lead one person to the feet of Christ and help them reach salvation, or give someone hope for tomorrow in the storm of today, or just make one lonely person feel like they are not alone for 30 seconds... it would all be worth it.

So here it goes.

A day at a time...